Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
