Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
