I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
