Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
