I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
