chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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