Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so let's talk penis.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
