I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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