Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize