so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
