I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
