Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
