Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
false alarm, still single
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