So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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