So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
