I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
