He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
