I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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