I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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