I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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