Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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