Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
