She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize