carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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