Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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