I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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