porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
