In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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