I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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