Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
