Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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