This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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