Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
