i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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