the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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