omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My pussy is not your playground.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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