Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize