i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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