There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And then he peed in my hair
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