The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We're too hungover to prance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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