you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
