Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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