How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
