I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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