ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We need to get me chipped asap
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
