they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We got so high we made milksteak
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize