Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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