you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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