he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
