can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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