people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
