Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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