he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
