Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
