You can't special order awesome
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
